it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
