Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The cops high fived after they tackled you
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
