Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
