Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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