im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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