She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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