Me too!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
God, I missed his penis.
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