oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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