Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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