the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
