i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
