he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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