all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize