pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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