Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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