i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
