Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
