i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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