you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
