Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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