i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
