I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
