My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So many bounce houses so little time
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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