So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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