Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
