you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
