walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
