garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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