She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
