Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
