I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
