Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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