i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
