Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
