I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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