no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
