It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
