at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
