Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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