was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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