I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
