do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
