i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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