operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
