I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
