would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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