dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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