you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
