You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize