does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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