ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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