doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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