My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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