So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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