then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
