This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
