i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
